KEEP SMILEING

Lecturer- "Children in the dark make mistakes ".. Give me the opposite to this sentence.

Santa- "Mistakes in the dark make children"!!!

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Santa looking at himself in the mirror, "I have seen this man somewhere".
After half an hour, "Oh, its the same man, who married my wife."

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Santa: I have swallowed a key.
Doctor: When?
Santa: 3 months back!
Doctor: What were you doing till now?
Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

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Titanic was sinking.
An Englishmen asked Santa, "How far is land"?
Santa: 2 Kms.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction?
Santa: Downwards!

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Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says No, it means -
With Idiot for Ever

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Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.

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Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.

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Hi i am dying to c u, i want to talk to u seriously, but I cant get 2 u, dis stupid gatekeeper is asking me 4 a ticket to enter the zoo!

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Last night, I wanted you, needed u so badly it hurt. I wanted to taste you, wanted you inside me so you could work your magic on me... but I couldn't find you...... you stupid asprin

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Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause ven he got out.
Santa: I didn't say he got out.

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Santa walks into a library & says, "Can I have a burger and coke?" Librarian, "I'm sorry, this is a library." Santa whispers, "Can I have a burger & fries?"